My mother was extremely inclined to exercising good manners, and so at age 5 she sent me to a charm school. You read that right. You can laugh, but I'm telling you, I have never flashed my knickers to anybody when crossing my legs.
It would be, about 10+ years later, that I would truly learn to appreciate what the castrating witch of our instructor instilled in us while we sipped tea from a cup & saucer Barbie size-appropriate. Every single day of summer I'd hear the same mantra: Be polite, even when others are not, to you.
Etiquette and politeness is a little about rising above the social ineptitude of others in extreme situations (can you picture me giggling like Beavis & Butthead at that?). Surprisingly enough another instructor also taught us that humour is a wonderful tool to used when one is found in an uncomfortable (read: stupid) situation. I remember being 9 and getting asked if my mum was pregnant (she was, but she preferred to keep it private until she knew the gender) by a nosy adult.
I replied: "I forgot to ask her before you asked me. Is there anything else you want me to find out for you?"
You can find that line under "You just got pwned by a 9 year old", now in bookstores.
The point I'm trying to make (behold, this should be interesting), is that sometimes, it's okay to retort with an ounce of humour when a person falls under the broad category of "etiquette faux pas", otherwise known as BEING AN IDIOT.
Like I said, 10 and something years later, while planning my own wedding, I realized how useful and amazing this little piece of knowledge can be. For example, upon getting the following comment:
"I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle!"
from a lady as refreshing as getting punched in the ovaries, would have usually sent me over the edge. My usual reply would have been "I'd rather walk down the aisle to bloody Miley Cyrus, ma'am".
Taking in consideration that this lady grabbed me on the passing, said what she said really quick in that annoying, "I can't believe you just tried that" kind of way that proved me she was trying to find out if she was invited to the wedding, I have to say I'm proud of not going berserk.
She is not, by the way, invited to the wedding, mainly because she is not close to either side, doesn't really know us - AND I DON'T LIKE HER. Instead of snapping, I went ahead and replied with:
"We'll be sure to take lots of pictures to show you!"
Le gasp. I wasn't rude, I wasn't mean. I was polite, I said it with a smile but my message was clear: NO. Granted, what she did was no sin, but it put me in a position that if I were a more flexible bride, I would have had to invite her.
On a personal level, I would rather not get an invitation to a wedding if the couple felt that I had to because of something stupid, tactless and out of place that I said. I'd rather stay home than get a "I didn't want to, but I had to" invitation.
Fine, I'm a complete witch. But I win :P
PS: Please don't try to be a smart...butt with me on this one. This entry was an anecdote (which ended well with this lady, trust me) mixed with sarcasm. Refrain from making a complete ... donkey out of yourself by trying to correct my etiquette approach. Or Emily Post will slap you with her purse.